Talk honestly and openly with your roommate. In so doing, roommates can quickly come to an understanding of each other's needs regarding life styles and living situations. Mutual agreement at the beginning can avoid many problems in the future.
How will rent be paid - one check or separate? What if someone is late? Can the roommate afford the rent? If your roommate doesn't pay the rent, you are legally responsible for their portion of the rent.
If you are a nondrinker and your roommate is a party animal, conflict is inevitable. If these habits are evident before you sign a lease, there is no reason to believe that they will change come August. What about friends who smoke, drink or do drugs when they visit?
What is the academic situation of each roommate? Does your coursework require you to study every day and if so, for how many hours? When and where do you like to study? Do you need absolute quiet to study? Is someone on academic probation? If your roommate flunks out of school, you will be stuck with their rent or stuck finding a sublessee.
How do you feel about each other's friends? How about overnight guests? Where can they sleep? How often may they come? How long may they stay? How about parties - how often? Do you want any house rules? Who will provide food/drink? Who will clean up?
Are friends allowed to spend the night and how often? At what point do they stop being "overnight guests" and become additional roommates who must share in the rent and household duties? To become additional roommates, do they first need the approval of the other roommates?
Do any of you have strong feelings about food that will affect your roommates? Will you have household meals, or eat separately? How will you divide shopping, cooking and cleaning duties? May one roommate use another’s food? If so, how soon must it be replaced or paid for?
How clean should the place be? Who is responsible for cleaning the areas that you share? How often? How should you divide up the work? (Under Illinois law, roommates are "jointly and severally liable" for damages caused to the premises as well as for the rent itself.)
What are each roommate's needs for privacy?
At what hour should the loud noise end so roommates can study or sleep?
May things like stereos, TVs, kitchen equipment, bikes and motor vehicles be shared? Or are they off limits? Are there any rules about their use? May roommates borrow each other's clothes, books, CDs, and other items? Must they get permission each time? Some people have trouble lending out stuff at all. So be sensitive.
Should doors be locked at night? When no one is home? Where will you keep an extra key? Should anyone besides the roommates have a key or know about the extra key?
Is everyone going to be available to clean the apartment before you vacate? Should the roommate(s) who cleans up the apartment receive monetary credit for the work if others don't help?
How are utilities going to be paid? If some roommates have cell phones, will they continue to have access to a household phone? What about cable or internet service?
At some point, if your roommate is like most people, he or she will be angry, hurt or frustrated or simply in a bad mood. A relationship break-up, an incident at work or a bad grade can cause emotions to flare. Allowing your roommate time to calm down and deal with his or her problems can prevent making things worse and will help build a stronger relationship between you both.
It is advisable to write down the agreements you and your roommates arrive at regarding your living arrangements. This will help:
Living together in a roommate situation is an important part of your college experience. It takes commitment, involvement and work to benefit from school. These same qualities are needed if you want a good, productive relationship with your roommates.
A successful roommate situation requires good communication. Take time to talk frequently to each other. Chatting with each other helps keep up the basic relationship which can provide the underpinning for a harmonious relationship. Let each other know who you are and what's happening in your life. If something in the household is bothering you (it's too noisy to sleep, someone is drinking your milk, the house/room is too messy, etc.) talk it over with your roommate(s) as soon as possible. Be honest in telling your roommate what your needs are in the household.
Keep communicating. Try to talk things out on a regular basis. There are various ways to keep in touch with your roommates:
Don't be dismayed if you find yourself in conflict with your roommate(s). Disagreements between people are inevitable, especially in a roommating situation where people live together and interact on a daily basis. Conflicts usually occur when changes are needed and when behaviors, thoughts and feelings need to be re-examined. Don't be afraid to confront your roommates about what is bothering you. If you know how to deal with conflict positively and productively, all involved can benefit from the situation.
These steps sound very simple but to make them work you need to know how to fight fair. The key to successful dispute resolution is effective communication. To resolve conflict, communicate with each other on a one-to-one equal basis and avoid behavior that will break down communication.
Despite your best efforts, it may happen that a roommate simply refuses to participate in efforts to overcome the problems that divide you. Even in such unfortunate circumstances, steps can be taken to keep in check the financial and other risks that may be present and minimize the hard feelings between you.
First, the effort to communicate on your part should continue at least as to the matters relating to your joint responsibility, i.e., payment of bills, observance of rules and regulations of your apartment lease, dorm, etc.
Second, contact your landlord and/or dorm C.A. about any situation that may jeopardize your relationship with the landlord or the university.
Third, without assuming sole responsibility for rent and utilities, you should consider taking control of these accounts to ensure that additional expenses are not incurred for which you can be held accountable.
Fourth, control your temper. Retaliation will not only certainly make the situation worse; it may be illegal and subject you to court action or a criminal complaint.
Finally, realize that roommates can and have survived despite not liking each other. "Getting along" in some cases means agreeing to disagree or reaching an understanding where each party goes his or her own way with minimal contact with or interference from the other.
If you are thinking of moving out of your apartment because of a roommate or other trouble, or your roommate is thinking of moving out or has moved out already, it is best to get legal assistance concerning the situation immediately. The most common legal issues presented when a roommate leaves are the respective obligations of the parties to pay rent and/or utilities and the rights of the departed roommate to sublet his or her share of the apartment. The answers to these questions depend on a variety of factors, including applicable provisions in your lease, any written and/or oral agreements made by you as roommates, the reasons why the departed roommate left, etc. Generally speaking, a departed roommate continues to have the legal duty to pay his or her share of rent and utilities, but also has the legal right to sublet. Specific circumstances may change the legal position of the parties, however. Again, consult an attorney.
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