Friendship and Politics

Suzanne Degges-White, chair of the Department of Counseling and Counselor Education in the NIU College of Education

Is supporting your candidate worth losing your friend?

As important as this election is, is it worth destroying friendships?

Probably not, says Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, chair of the Department of Counseling and Counselor Education in the NIU College of Education. She offers a few simple tips to prevent political conversations from turning into arguments that destroy that friendships friendships if avoiding the topic altogether isn't possible:

• Know your friend and know their limits. If conflict makes them crumble, and you value the friendship, don’t intentionally or mean spiritedly attack their candidate.
• Don’t denigrate their candidate. Think about how you feel when someone makes fun of your big dreams or big plans – your friend has probably taken ownership of the candidate’s dreams as their own, so if you attack those things you attack your friend.
• Focus on the issues and on facts. This is where substantive conversations can begin. 
• Change the topic. Don’t have these conversations if the friendship matters and you're on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Don’t risk it to prove a point that may have no footing once an election is decided.
• Be kind to family too. Remind yourself that families are not chosen, so you really should not let their political leanings or diverse views influence what you feel your role in the family should be.