Pause Off! Peer Education Theatre Troupe

Bystander Interventions

(Adapted from Men Can Stop Rape, www.mencanstoprape.org, 2006)

"I" Statements

  • Three parts: 1. State your feelings, 2. Name the behavior, 3. State how you want the person to respond. This focuses on your feelings rather than criticizing the other person.
  • Example: “I feel            when you            . Please don’t do that anymore.”

 

Silent Stare

  • Remember, you don’t have to speak to communicate.
  • Sometimes a disapproving look can be far more powerful than words.

 

Humor

  • Reduces the tension of an intervention and makes it easier for the person to hear you.
  • Do not undermine what you say with too much humor. Funny doesn’t mean unimportant.

 

Distraction

  • Snaps someone out of their “sexist comfort zone.”
    • Example: Ask a man harassing a woman on the street for directions or the time.
  • Allows a potential target to move away and/or to have other friends intervene.
    • Example: Spill your drink on the person or interrupt and start a conversation with the person.

 

We’re friends, right...?

  • Reframes the intervention as caring and non-critical.
  • Example: “Hey Chad…..as your friend I’ve gotta tell you that getting a girl drunk to have sex with her isn’t cool, and could get you in a lot of trouble. Don’t do it.”

 

Group Intervention

  • There is safety and power in numbers.
  • Best used with someone who has a clear pattern of inappropriate behavior where many examples can be presented as evidence of his problem.

 

Bring it Home

  • Prevents someone from distancing himself from the impact of his actions.
    • Example: “I hope no one ever talks about you like that.”
  • Prevents someone from dehumanizing his targets.
    • Example: What if someone said your girlfriend deserved to be raped or called your mother a whore?”