Warning Signs:
Behaviors to Look for in a Potentially Abusive Partner
Quick Involvement
- Does your partner come on fast and strong? Does your partner pressure you to commit to him or her early on?
- Have you known your partner for less than six months before moving in together?
Jealousy
- Does your partner claim her or his jealousy is a sign of her or his love for you?
- Does your partner question you about who you talk to or ask you to account for every moment you are away?
- Does your partner accuse you of flirting or cheating?
- Does your partner complain about the time you spend with friends or family?
- Does your partner call you frequently during the day or stop by unexpectedly?
Controlling Behavior
- Does your partner try to control you by claiming it is only out of concern for you?
- Is your partner angry if you are late returning home from work or routine errands?
- Does your partner prevent you from making decisions about your own activities?
Unrealistic Expectations
- Is your partner dependent on you to meet all of her or his needs?
- Does your partner expect you to be the perfect partner, lover, and friend?
- Does your partner give you ultimatums, such as, “If you really loved me, you would ____.”
Isolation
- Does your partner cut you off from friends and family?
- Does your partner accuse people who are supportive of you of causing trouble?
- Does your partner try to prevent you from going anywhere without him or her?
Blames Others for Personal Problems
- Does your partner blame you or others for his or her own mistakes?
- Does your partner claim that others are always doing her or him wrong?
- Does your partner blame your children for the problems in your relationship?
Blames Others for Own Feelings
- Does your partner tell you that you “make her mad,” or that you are “hurting him” if you don’t do what he or she wants? Does you partner claim that you control how she or he feels?
Hypersensitivity
- Is your partner easily insulted?
- Does your partner interpret setbacks as personal attacks?
Public Display of Anger or Violence
- Has your partner ever verbally or physically abused you in a public setting?
Coerced or Forced Sex
- Has your partner shown little concern for your own sexual desire, and used sulking or anger to manipulate you into having sex?
- Does your partner demand sex when you are tired or ill?
Verbal Abuse
- Does your partner say mean and degrading things to you?
- Does your partner curse you or put down accomplishments you have made?
- Does your partner tell you that you are stupid and unable to function without him or her?
Sudden Mood Changes
- Does your partner’s mood change suddenly and drastically for no apparent reason?
Developed by the Northern Illinois University, LGBT Resource Center
Holmes Student Center, 7th Floor, www.niu.edu/lgbt, lgbt@niu.edu, 815-753-LGBT
Adapted from Student Development Centre, University of Western Ontario |
