Power & Control Tactics in Transgender Relationships
Tactics Used by Transgender Abusers
- Claiming they are just being “butch” or that “it’s the hormones” (to explain their violent behavior)
- Ridiculing or belittling your identity as a bisexual, trans, femme, butch, genderqueer....
- Claiming that your identity “undermines” or is “disrespectful” of theirs
- Charging you with “not being supportive” if you ask to discuss questions of transitioning timing and/or expense
- Denying that you are affected by the transition or by being partnered with a trans person
- Accusing you of not allowing hir to have a “proper adolescence”
- Forbidding you to talk to others about transgender topics
- Telling you you would harm the LGB and/or T community if you exposed what was happening
- Negating your personal decisions
- Claiming they are more “politically correct” and using their status as an L, G, B, and/or T person against you
Tactics Used Against Transgender Victims
- Using pronouns not preferred by you or calling you “it”
- Calling you pejorative names
- Ridiculing how your body looks
- Telling you you are not a real man/woman
- Telling you that nobody would believe you because you’re transgender
- Ridiculing or belittling your identity as a bisexual, trans, femme, butch, genderqueer....
- Claiming they are more “politically correct” and using their status as an L, G, B, and/or T person against you
- Claiming they know what’s best for you, how you should dress or wear makeup (or not), etc.
- Denying access to medical treatment or hormones or coercing you to not pursue medical treatment
- Hiding or throwing away hormones, binders, clothes, etc.
- Eroticizing/fetishizing your body against your will
- Touching body parts you don’t want touched, or calling them by terms they know you find offensive
- Telling you they thought you liked “rough sex” or “this is how real men/women like sex”
- Telling you that nobody will ever love you
- Telling you you don’t deserve better and/or would never find a better partner
- Threatening to “out” you to your employer, friends, or family members
- Negating your personal decisions
- Threatening to take the children or turn them against you
- Forbidding you to talk to others about transgender topics
Adapted from "FORGE: For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression | PO Box 1272 | Milwaukee WI 53201
www.forge-forward.org | info@forge-forward.org" |
